experiences in China

Now this tribute to hoops is probably not what you’re thinking of. This tribute to hoops is not for basketball, its not for the Olympic Games, its not even for the hoolihoop. It’s for hoop earrings and all those beauuuutiful girls that wear them. Why oh why do us men love them sooooo much? They attract almost as much attention as the female’s god-gifted breasticles and apple bottom, I said almost. There’s just something about them…they way they hang, the way they sway and bounce when women walk the way they do, the attitude they project, the swagger they bring, the raw sexiness they exude, the way they make women look so put together you understand and believe that yes! there is a god. And the simplicity of it all is even more astonishing. Hoops. A pair of large earrings shaped in a round circle that dangle, usually made of silver. It’s just that simple ladies. These little things can make a man do crazy things. They make us men buy you drinks, dance like a fool, pay for dinner and a movie, and even take you back home sometimes. So women all around the world, please keep on wearing those dangly earrings. I as well as every other heterosexual male bow down to you and them. Keep looking sexy, keep moving that body, and keep breaking our hearts. We love it too much.

My friend left last night, well really early this morning, and he had such a huge hassle with the weight of his luggage. Because he’s going back to France, he could only carry back about 40 lbs per bag and he was only allowed one luggage bag. This is crazy. I’m so happy the USA has a limit of 50 lbs per bag and two allowable luggage bags. More than double other places. It’s so hard to not buy things here in China. Everything is so cheap and you want to show everything to your friends and family back at home. If I could bring back an old Chinese man that yelled out “Fapiao” all day I would, that’d be great….I’d also bring back as much meat sticks and bottles of baijiu (horrible Chinese liquor) as possible. Since I have a higher weight limit, when I leave I’m going to see how much I can fit in my bags. I have a feeling some baijiu and maybe even some meat sticks will reach the “land of the free”.

There are ro char or meat stick grills all over beijing. You can almost always find one, except near my apartment. But yesterday, when I was really in the mood for some ro char, there was FINALLY one young guy grilling ro char just outside my apartment. F*CKING AMAZING! I love ro char! I told my friend that when I leave, I will probably miss the ro char the most. What is there not to love, meat on a stick grilled up. How much more manly can you get too?

So anyways I ate 5 ro chars then ate a salad at my apartment then drank some beers then went back to the ro char guy and bought 24 ro chars with my friend and watched a movie. It was a good night. The ro char made it a good night. So good. Yeah…..mmmmmm

Acid is falling and I’m not talking about the trippy kind, that kind might actually be better. This morning it was raining, the first time it has rained since I’ve been here in Beijing. No umbrella. And I couldn’t help but wonder if this is acid rain that is falling on me, the infamous acid rain I heard third world countries experience. It looks and feels like normal rain but I’m sure it is eating up my clothes. I wondered if I’d end up making it to work naked. “That damn acid rain!” I’d tell my boss, dripping and disheveled.

But it wasn’t too bad, I made to work. And my clothes….yeah they made it to work as well. I found out that 80% of the rainfall here in Beijing is acid rain. So I could make a mighty fine guess and say, yeah, that was acid rain on me and yeah I’ll tell you if my skin is peeling off tomorrow.

One more thing, I’m now going to invest in an industrial sized umbrella preferably made of steel soon. I think it’s worth it.

I finally went to a gym near me and asked for a trial for the day to see what their fitness center had to offer. Compared to my New York gym or any New York gym for that matter, it was a bit “old-skool”. The tiny gym was filled with outdated fitness machines (some of which were broken), iron weights, rusted bars, broken mirrors, ping pong tables?, and half naked men. As discouraging as this all sounds, the gym wasn’t too bad though. Even though it offered severely outdated equipment that I’m use to, it did have all the equipment and machines I usually use. Two things that an American gym wouldn’t have is a ping pong table and half naked men(well some do). But these two do flow with the Chinese culture. The ping pong I can understand, its China‘s biggest sport. While the shirtless men, okay, they aren’t very sanitary, and for me, who drips buckets of sweat while working out, well I can relate.

So after my workout experience I ponder whether to join or not?

On the plus side they offer all the equipment I use and like and its not too crowded. On the negative side, they have outdated equipment, no hot women, no water fountain, and somewhat far from my apartment.

I think the negatives out weigh the positives however I might pay for day passes occasionally. Maybe I can cut a deal with him…. who knows, maybe I could be his personal trainer and get a free membership.

Everyone around me is sick. As I am typing this people are coughing and sneezing inches away from me. I’m just hoping I don’t catch a cold, however hang out with all my friends which are almost all sick, I feel it is almost inevitable. It’s weird to hold the thought of knowing the future. Well I don’t know for sure and I’m hoping I don’t get sick because I hate it (well who likes it?). I must be cautious. (I feel like a ninja). I must wash my hands, I must dress warm, and I must hold my breath when someone sneezes or coughs. You can actually lessen your chance of catching a cold if you do this. So if you’re reading this and you’re not sick yet, these are your rules of defense to avoid catching the sickness.

A few days ago i went with other people of my school to a gigantic place where you can go and sing in a private room (KTV) and play bowling. The KTV rooms were like spaceships. Everything was white, from the tables to the leather seats. The KTV machines had a great selection of old and new songs in English. After an hour in the KTV room we all got down to serious business by going to the bowling alleys. Once we went on the top floor i was actually gobsmacked how many bowling alleys they had. My team was playing on the alley number 50 and apparently there was another closed off section with another 50 alleys…Making it, apparently, the biggest bowling club in the world! Just before leaving we noticed this place had a great bowling pro shop and a very sophisticated lingerie shop… China: expect the unexpected!!

Here in Beijing, I’ve noticed the locals do not believe in personal space, they probably don’t even know what it is! You have probably witnessed this lack of respect in the subways. Getting on or off and even while in the subway cart everyone is directly next to you, touching you as if they were hitting on you. Another example is when crossing the streets here. The culture is just go and dodge the cars and buses. Most people when crossing the streets here are literally millimeters away from cars because the vehicles don’t stop, especially the buses I’ve noticed. People are often caught between lanes while cars and buzzing by millimeters away from death. Quite scary sometimes. Even in NYC cars are ruthless and often zroom by but there’s a small ounce of respect and safety that people have. NYC locals don’t risk peoples lives like they do here. In my opinion, here in Beijing there is no such thing as personal space or respect for others. It’s kind of a society and culture that is very impatient, and only cares for oneself and your family, no one else matters. This isn’t a bad thing, it’s just a different type of culture to get use to.

Last week my friend and I went to O’Brien’s, a big Irish sandwich chain, and asked for fapiao when we received our check. Surprisingly instead of a real O’Brien’s invoice fapiao, we saw our waitress ask a woman on the street for fapiao. When she brought it to us we realized it was fake fapiao. The silver scratch part wasn’t able to scratch off. It was just silver coloring. I couldn’t believe a big chain like O’Brien’s had FAKE FAPIAO!! Good thing we didn’t need the invoice for work or taxes, we just felt lucky that day and thought we’d win some money, i guess our luck never even had a chance.

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