China Blog by Chinaorbit.com

I saw the hugely anticipated movie The Warlords on Sunday. It was all in Chinese with only Chinese Subtitles. I couldn’t find any theater in Beijing that showed The Warlords with English subtitles. There is ONE theater for expats that show Chinese movies with English subtitles however I just found out it is closed for renovations until January 2008, great…So I decided to watch the movie anyways, I was with my Chinese friend who could translate any of the necessary conversions to inform me of what the hell is going on. Plus it’s an action/war movie, how hard could it be to understand, one guy is mad at another guy so they’ll fight. Pretty simple.

So the movie was really good even though I only understood 5% of it. Action scenes were intense and well choreographed, and Jet Li, Andy Lau, and Takeshi Kaneshiro were all good actors. I definitely recommend this flick, “a very man movie”, as my Chinese friend says.

Now this tribute to hoops is probably not what you’re thinking of. This tribute to hoops is not for basketball, its not for the Olympic Games, its not even for the hoolihoop. It’s for hoop earrings and all those beauuuutiful girls that wear them. Why oh why do us men love them sooooo much? They attract almost as much attention as the female’s god-gifted breasticles and apple bottom, I said almost. There’s just something about them…they way they hang, the way they sway and bounce when women walk the way they do, the attitude they project, the swagger they bring, the raw sexiness they exude, the way they make women look so put together you understand and believe that yes! there is a god. And the simplicity of it all is even more astonishing. Hoops. A pair of large earrings shaped in a round circle that dangle, usually made of silver. It’s just that simple ladies. These little things can make a man do crazy things. They make us men buy you drinks, dance like a fool, pay for dinner and a movie, and even take you back home sometimes. So women all around the world, please keep on wearing those dangly earrings. I as well as every other heterosexual male bow down to you and them. Keep looking sexy, keep moving that body, and keep breaking our hearts. We love it too much.